Both positive attitude and the ability to be helpful will be maximized if you take the time to regenerate your energy. In speaking of making investments, famed financier and advisor to presidents Bernard Baruch said: “No general should keep his troops fighting all the time.” The same applies to any form of personally taxing kindness. Continuous performance isn’t going to produce the same quality results, nor will it provide as sharp of a perspective, as performance with appropriate breaks and as extending kindness to yourself will.
Parents and grandparents can sometimes make this mistake, forgetting themselves and giving “everything” for their children or grandchildren, not leaving enough time for their own happiness, personal growth, and relationship development. The best gift parents can give their children is stability. Partners need to make private time for themselves and to get out alone frequently to keep their relationship vital.
Too much generosity, can also lead to self-centeredness and expectation that can undermine another’s personal growth, so it needs to be selective and measured for the ultimate benefit of the recipient. Give appropriate amounts of help in any situation. No one learns how to fish when someone else keeps giving them fish.
Spending more time on kindness driven activity also requires good physical and mental health. Research has reinforced the fact that the ability to think, to perform and to problem solve improves with proper nutrition and proper rest.
If you can’t seem to get it all done, think about these basics, and try to eliminate what’s not essential, and delegate to others when you can, to free up more of your own time for higher-level activities. The excellent book, Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck, can be very helpful to busy women in reorganizing for a more personally meaningful and productive life. The broad message is equally meaningful for men: “To live a fulfilled life, take your lead from your essential self. If something causes stress and struggle, no matter how worthy it is, it's probably not your true direction. When you find something that gives you joy, and at which you seem easily productive, it is probably close to your North Star.” I recommend this book highly. It would be a great gift for any woman who has too much on her plate or who could just use more help getting better organized...
The Proper Feel
...“Do what you love, live at the hub, centered on your own bliss…Bliss is the track that has always been waiting for you with hidden hands, seeming to help you attract the right circumstances for the fulfillment of your work…Everyone has the right to become a hero of some kind.” - Joseph Campbell. Heroes are those who finally discover who they are, then act accordingly. Exercising kindness can be a key that leads to that life-changing discovery.
The Character of Kindness
Kindnesses can be given at different levels. Some people extend the same type of kindness all of the time. Some kindnesses are given in expectation of something in return, some without expecting anything. Some kindness is open, sometimes it’s anonymous. As Maimonides noted, kindness has different levels of purity. All of it can work together for good, with the varied kindnesses of others, to make a difference...