YOUR UNFINISHED LIFE

...A former courthouse in Newark, New Jersey offers a message from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow chiseled in stone, as relevant to kindness as it is to justice: “Be merciful as well as just." It’s a message we can apply to our own judgments to help guide our actions. Rambam’s Ladder mentions the wonderful, non-judgmental encouragement of Lord Chesterton: “Do not refuse your charity, even to those who have no merit but their misery.”...

Problems of the poor and working poor cascade. Anything that can help stop or stave that off can be a help. Effectively providing the needed nails, before the job is lost, the car breaks down, health deteriorates, or training and college classes are abandoned can help make a real difference at the right time. Making a difference for someone not only helps them, but it feels very good too. It also contributes to our own insight, happiness and personal growth.

Helping In Special Ways
Each of us is going to run head on into situations like these. We need to think creatively about how we could help...

Adoption
Adopting children is a huge commitment, but one that can make a dramatic difference in their lives. Two couples I know are among the many who have adopted. An attorney discovered that two young girls were living under unsatisfactory conditions and asked his wife if they could adopt. She agreed. Their family increased from four to six children.
A woman who had been previously married and had two adult children of her own, married a bachelor who wanted to have children. At almost fifty, she agreed and went to Romania alone, her first trip abroad, to bring a young girl and boy to the United States. My admiration for her was off the scale. They are excellent parents and live in an attractive subdivision in a rural area with an excellent school system. A complete transformation of lives and future for these children, made possible because of selfless kindness. These aren’t sacrifices that everyone can or should make, but they can make a big difference...

Providing Backup: Really Providing It
One of my cousins, and his wonderful wife, had a beautiful, lively daughter who developed Fanconi’s Anemia, a rare and often fatal disease that required that they take her out of the area for life saving treatments. During the months he had to be away from his job as a police detective to be with his daughter for her treatments, his fellow officers took turns covering his shifts, so he would never miss a paycheck. He told me it was a kindness they would never forget.
His fellow officers and their wives also held benefits to raise money to assist with the financial expense which accompanied their daughter’s treatment. Sadly, their beloved daughter died, several days after she had become a teenager. A thousand people, including her eighth grade classmates, attended the unforgettable funeral service presided over by a priest who is our oldest cousin, who offered a beautiful and caring homily to ease the pain felt by everyone...

Unplanned Leadership
Sometimes the way we serve isn’t something we select, it’s something that selects us. Katie Couric suffered the loss of her husband Jay Monahan, when he was diagnosed with colon cancer at age forty-one and died soon after, leaving her with two young daughters. Her way of dealing with this tragedy was to show kindness to others by working since then to encourage people to have colonoscopies and, with the help of many others, raising millions of dollars for colon cancer research, and for the Jay Monahan Center focusing on the treatment of cancers of the colon, pancreas and esophagus. [Katie’s sister died from pancreatic cancer.] Katie underwent an on the air colonoscopy on The Today Show to encourage others to do the same. She received a Peabody Award for her presentation. She commented that she has received many letters from people who have thanked her for encouraging them to be tested because it saved their lives, or those of a loved one.